About Sex Therapy & Sex Therapists

Beliefs about Sex Therapy:

Sex therapists help patients by having sex with them
 Asking extensive personal questions - Kinsey in the 1950's.
Watching people have sex in laboratories - Masters & Johnson in the 1970's.
 Tell people simply "If it feels good - do it!" - Ruth Westheimer in the 1970's.
 Achieve multiple "G-Spot" orgasms - Grafenberg in the 1980's.
 Safe sex with computers - Cybersex in the 1990's.

Today's Sex Therapists:

Treat interpersonal relationships - Sex is expressed through these relationships
 Comfort with language (proper and slang) and descriptions of graphic behaviors
Understand anatomy and the sexual response cycle:

Phase I    - Excitement / Arousal
 Phase II   - Plateau
 Phase III  - Orgasm
Phase IV - Resolution

Understand why people have sex:

feel powerful
 nurture other
 feel close
 prove they're ok
 pleasure
 self-expression
 self-exploration
 relieve tension
 express love
 money		   feel nurtured
 control other
 placate partner
 reinforce gender identity
 avoid intimacy or conflict
 because they have to/should
 prove they're normal
 prevent partner from straying
 create dependence in partner

Assess:

- The individual
- The Couple / Relationship
- Refer for Medical Exam

Educate - 80% of the work:

- Direct teaching methods - Dispel myths
- Challenge assumptions

Give homework with explicit and specific details

Reassess - Check on homework

Most Common Presenting Problems:

- Male Penile Errectile Difficulties - Can't get it up
- Male Rapid Ejaculation - Premature Ejaculation
- Female Pre-Orgasm Condition - No Orgasm
- Dyspareunia - Painful Sex
- Sexual Desire Discrepancy

Sexual Desire Discrepancy Myths:

- You can always negotiate a compromise
- One partner may be a sex-addict
- One partner was probably sexually abused
- It's always an expression of intimacy issues
- There is a "normal" amount of sexual desire
- People who love each other will naturally have sex together, and probably enjoy it
- Technique has nothing to do with desire problems
- Sex should be natural and spontaneous
- You shouldn't have to sacrifice any other part of your life for a good sex life
- Desire and arousal always occur together, or are the same thing
- It's easy to diagnose which is the low desire and which is the high desire partner
- The low desire partner isn't sexy, doesn't care about sex, or doesn't get aroused

Other Areas of Focus: